This one is dedicated to my high school classmates, because they’re a part of this opening story. For those of you who didn’t go to Father Ryan, let me fill you in. My classmates and I were often lectured at school about the importance of having a good reputation. We went to a Catholic school, therefore we were expected to act like good Catholic school boys and girls 24/7. “You’re carrying our school’s reputation with you wherever you are. Make sure it’s a good one!” we were often told. And we didn’t necessarily disagree with our principal when he said that. We just got tired of hearing him repeating that mantra over and over again. If anyone were to tarnish the school’s reputation while out and about in the local community, whoever did it would get another lecture, as would the rest of us. (I don’t how the administration found out about these things.)
What I’m writing now is where I will consider the issue from another angle. I, too, feel that an honorable reputation is among the more valuable possessions one can own. But I disagree with my school’s approach to this issue.
I think we focus too much on the external and appearances nowadays. For evidence of this, go to the self-help section of Barnes and Noble. There you will find a multitude of books with titles to the effect of “15 Techniques to Make People Like You More,” or “18 Ways to Make a Good Impression at Work and Get What You Want.” Browse through a magazine rack and look at the articles listed on the covers, particularly the selections that contain so-called “relationship advice” : “45 Productive Ways to Flirt With Him,” “20 Ways to Win Her Heart,” and so on. It’s all about using the external to manipulate others for personal gain.
For a more extreme example, consider Hollywood. PR experts are hired to help their star clients project a favorable image to the public. But all these books, articles, and people cannot save anyone from character flaws or the more serious blunders that arise from them. All the image consultants in the world could not keep Lindsay Lohan out of jail. My point? If we focus more on our inner selves, a good reputation takes care of itself.
I would like to borrow an adage from Benjamin Franklin. “What you would seem to be, be really.” I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. If we center our lives on virtue and morality, then a good reputation comes naturally. It happens quickly and easily because there will be no duplicity in us; we are not just putting on a front to impress others. This is who we really are and we can be ourselves around anyone without a problem. Goodness will radiate through our words and actions and we needn’t worry about how we appear to the countless strangers we encounter in a given day. Furthermore, what good is it if we look nice on the outside but that nice appearance is deceiving? That is hypocrisy, lying to ourselves and to others about who we really are, and then we won’t deserve the upright reputation we claim to own.
When our facades are peeled off, does anything remain, and if so, what? If there is more to us than meets the eye, is that for the better or for the worse? A good paint job can’t make up for a car’s bad engine. A beautifully made casket holds a decaying body inside. A person rich enough to have a walk-in closet for every bedroom in his house could be hiding skeletons in those closets.
When we focus too much on image, we tend to forget where our reputations come from. They are forged in every action, whether it’s big or small, that we make every day.
If you want people to think that you’re a loving and caring person, you give them reasons to believe that about you. Treat those around you with kindness. Show compassion to those in need of it. Be there for your family and friends when they need you. Care for those who cannot speak for themselves.
If you want people to believe you’re a dependable human being, keep your promises. Be responsible. If you want others to believe that you’re loyal, stand by them in good times and in bad. Defend them when other people do or say hurtful things to them.
Likewise, if you want people to believe you’re a good person, be one. Be one, and don’t worry too much about what others think of you. You’ll be fine. Promise. 🙂
Briana's Thoughts....Religion, Politics, Current Events 